Dear Carisa (or any other girl who needs to read this),
I know you’ve been feeling pretty out of control lately. A lot of the things that you thought you knew about yourself are being challenged, and you’re finding yourself making a lot of silly mistakes and bad judgement calls. I know you’re going to want to mentally kick yourself for them over and over in your head. You’ll probably want to replay every little scenario over and over in your brain; thinking about all the things you should have done or said differently.
I know it sounds pretty cliche to tell you that everyone makes mistakes at times, but it’s true. There is someone in the world right now struggling with the exact thing that you’re struggling with. There is someone out there who knows exactly how you feel. The world is far too big for you to start feeling like you’re all alone. I need you to remember that.
Jesus knows how you feel, too. I know, I know…you’ve heard that one already, as well. It’s important that you understand it, though.
Hebrews 2:18 – “For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.”
Jesus was here on this earth. He suffered, he wept, he was tempted, he had a family and friends, he was like us. The only difference is that he was perfect and pure…however, that difference does not mean that temptation and suffering were easy for Him or that he doesn’t know what we are going through.
But if he didn’t actually make any mistakes, then what does it matter? Is that what you’re thinking? God is gracious. He is merciful. He designed every part of you, inside and out, and he loves you more than you can ever comprehend. It is his desire for us to draw close to him in our time of need.
I get that you’re feeling unworthy.
I get that you feel awkward at times when you sit down to study your bible.
I get that you feel so wrapped up in your mistakes that you worry that God doesn’t want you to sit before him anymore.
He gets it too. But he wants you to be with him & talk to him & run to him.
Lamentations 3:22-25 – The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
His love never ceases. His mercies never end. Each morning is new and filled with his love and faithfulness. He is good.
Don’t let yourself drown alone in the guilt of your mistakes. I know that you’re struggling with forgiving yourself. Stop trying. It’s not up to you to forgive yourself…it doesn’t really do any good. Give all of your worries and struggles over to God. Let him know what you’re feeling. Talk to him like a friend, and he will be there. It doesn’t have to be rehearsed or perfect or even long. Let the prayer be messy, and go to him exactly as you are. He will always forgive us if we ask.
Lastly, you’re going to make more mistakes. You might even make the exact same one later today. I’m not giving you an excuse to do that, but I want you to be at peace with the fact that mistakes will happen again and again. And each time, God will be waiting to hear from you. He will be there to welcome your emotions with open arms. He can give you the rest and reassurance that nothing else can. He can wipe you clean of those mistakes.
Take heart today, girl. You’re not too broken. You’re not too messy. You’re not a bad person because you made a bad call. You’re God’s beautiful daughter. You have been made for an exact purpose. All of your mess fits in somewhere with the rest of the world to unfold the magnificent plan he has for you.